Strength

Reality finally hit me. I had been so busy with work and have left things to be taken care of by tina. I hear what happens with dads Dr visits from her and it really isn't the same thing.
She called me to tell me that she had the follow up visit today. I told her I would  do it. I went with dad and didn't know what Dr we were seeing since he has his primary, his E.N.T. And his surgen. It turned out to be the Cancer center. I saw a patient leave the office with her I.V.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. My father will be in that same phase sooner than later.
We were called and we were just talking until the Dr came in. I had been seeing a documentary about wrong diagnosis and there was one with the same symptoms as dad so I asked her. If she was 100% sure he had cancer and not the other diagnosis. She guaranteed me that he did have cancer.
Dad explained to her how worried we were because of mom. Thats when I felt a difference in her body language. You know what i mean. Dr's usually come in talk a bit give you a prescription and you are on your way. Well needless to say. I ended up crying. Dad was crying. She showed she cared. She explained everything. She took her time. I told her we trusted her with our last parent. She said this was the best for dad but she was not God.
I know whatever is to happen will happen and we will have to except. It hurts me if we lose dad so fast. If we don't that is great. You see, we are alone. We have so many uncles and aunts but we have no close connection with them. We have been shown more love from friends than our own blood.
We finally told manny and david. They cried, we all did. But these two young men are stronger than we would be at their age. For that I am thankful. I only pray that my daddy doesn't feel so much pain. On the bright side. Dad gained two pounds and we had 2 months without any problems after moms passing.